Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Nina Grewal & Deepak Obhrai Make Cabinet!

From "anonymous" Conservative sources:
It appears two of the most "capable" MPs on the Harper back-benches will finally be called up in the "Harper Government". Their intellectual brilliance, coupled with their bent for lively debate, has certainly influenced the Ottawa decision-makers.
For Grewal the sources say it was the "new hairdo" that really sold the PM. Apparently she visited PM Harp's $10,000/night hair stylists. She didn't emerge with the "lego-man snap-on hair look" either. Her brilliance as an MP, and her superlative tactical wit in the Commons was key to her ascendance. Harper was also very keen to learn of her election strategies - particularly the rumoured broadcast of partisan messages in to a Canadian audience during an election from the State of Washington, in the US... Very convenient to broadcast partisan talk-show messaging from across the US border - where the pesky CRTC (and perhaps Elections Canada) have no reach. Harper apparently feels Ms. Grewal and her equally monolithic husband can teach the Conservative caucus a thing or two about campaigning... (oh, and you should HEAR the things that sources indicate were apparently said).
Deepak O... O-to-the-bizzie... What can one say about Calgary's most entertaining MP? Joining the Reform Party many years ago after being rejected by others, he quickly got help from several parties to flood the nomination meeting. Facing racist epithets from the "in-crowd" at Reform central, he never cowered... He actually never did anything to stand up for his vote base. Oh sure, his office paid it's dues in speeding up immigration files, but it was his work in the policy milieu that has won Deepak such worldwide acclaim. You see, Deepak is one of the back bench who gets the occasional speech written for him... then allowed to speak for a couple of minutes - mostly during completely empty House sessions. It's all so his constituents can watch this heroic orator shake Parliament's foundations... and there's something to put in those 10%ers...
It is thought Obhrai will give a whole new meaning to the term "Foreign Affairs". Apparently he has already booked free weekly trips to India for his entourage (which may or may not include Paris Hilton, and the "little person" from MJ's "Dreamland Ranch").
In other Cabinet news, Harper has apparently appointed two of his very talented kittens to key roles. Minister of Weaving Yarns will be "Buttons" (apparently also the PM's new bed mate). Minister of Women's Affairs will be Sox (who, of course, Harper had spayed).
Looking forward to see this very "intellectual" and talented bunch "storming the Hill"!

(The above post is meant purely in jest. All characters are fictitious, or at least don't exist in any useful way).
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