Survivor: Liberal Party Of Canada

 The creative braintrust over here at WesternGrit has come up with a solution to ALL our current and future leadership woes...

Picture the lush, tropic, almost Canadian Cayman Islands ...  Now let that image slip from your mind, and imagine "sunny Ottawa, Canada" in January...

Here's the scenario.  Two men are cast onto the island.  Okay... okay... so both these men seem to think they ARE an island... Anyways... I digress.  Picture Bob in his Speedos (shouldn't be too hard to do after that bit with Mercer), and Iggy in ... in... whatever Iggy wears to the beach.  

Both tribes (Team Iggy in their Worhol-inspired (copywright?) tribal colors, and Team Bob wearing their black T's with BOB written across the chest, and looking a lot like "BOOB" if you don't look close enough...) have a chance to "win immunity" and avoid getting voted off the island... if they manage to complete a handful of relatively simple tasks...

1) Task #1: Using a pile of bamboo branches, "frame" the coalition "situation" in the best light possible (to be, or not to be, that is the question...) for the LPoC...  Barring that, "frame" Stephen Harper for his role in causing climate change with "personal greenhouse gas emissions"

2) Task #2: Using collected conch shells (Scot and Megan - bet you never thought THAT would come up again after TO... Westin... hmmm???), sand "dollars" and hermit crab turds to retire the LPoC debt.  Please be creative in your solution, as we do score points for "style"

3) Task #3:  Using sea urchins (or Wellington Street urchins), pointy starfish, sea lion dung, and a large fishing net, break the fall of the stock market, while skillfully devising a strategy to get Canada out of an almost certain recession.  Bonus points if you can place the urchin inside Fat-boy Harper's backside (sea or street)... and get him to admit to his fault in creating the conditions for said recession to hurt Canadians more than it should have...

4) Task #4:  Use India ink from the carcasses of 1 million squid to paint a large sign explaining to Canada that one little missing fact.... the one about Liberals being the best fiscal managers in the history of this land... and how we always need to bail the Con's out of hawk...

Good God... I really do need to drink more screech on Sunday nights...  Peace out to my boys in St. John's...

VICTORY FUND